


A spark to burn everything down

by sapphicxrey



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attack on Titan Spoilers, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon - Anime, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eren Yeager Needs a Hug, Eren Yeager's Eyes, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Only anime spoilers no manga, POV Armin Arlert, Pining, Pining Armin, Sharing a Bed, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicxrey/pseuds/sapphicxrey
Summary: Eren’s eyes had always had a spark in them. They were alive, full. They were painted with the brightest colors and the alarming force of the sea. Oh, the sea. Now he could say Eren’s eyes were like the sea.Armin loved getting lost in those eyes.
Relationships: Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager
Comments: 13
Kudos: 228





	A spark to burn everything down

Eren’s eyes had always had a spark in them. They were alive, full; two jewels like opened windows to his soul, Armin loved getting lost in them. 

It started by accident, all special things do. The three of them, Mikasa, Eren and himself, had been playing for so long and it was a really hot day in Singanshina. It seemed like the sun refused to set on that day, maybe it should have never set. The unbreakable trio was exhausted, their garments messy and scowling from their parents waiting at home as always; however, that day none of them wanted to go back just yet. So, spent as they were, they laid in the soft grass, a nice breeze washing over them. A quiet blanket of comfort wrapped the three friends, bone-tired but happy. In that moment, Eren had shifted around, turn his face to him, a slow smile on his lips. His friend must have said something but Armin couldn’t bring himself to remember, he was rendered speechless losing all convictions in the depth of Eren’s eyes. 

Throughout the years there had been so many looks and gazes, loving ones, concerned ones, dead ones. Armin had seen so many others, and yet none could compare to what he felt when he looked into Eren’s. They were painted with the brightest colors and the alarming force of the sea.  _ Oh, the sea.  _ Now he could say Eren’s eyes were like the sea. 

_ The sea. Eren. Dreams. _

A sharp pang of pain hits Armin’s chest, bringing him back to reality. He manages to peel off his gaze from the warm, tasteless soup before him and takes in his surroundings. No one in his squad had actually caught him drifting away thinking of Eren.  _ Good _ , Armin thinks as a light blush settles on his cheeks.

He looks up and tries to follow the lively conversation of his comrades. Three whole days had passed since he’d seen the sea, it was time to think and make strategies but Armin couldn’t help the elated feeling that set on his heart when he remembered just how wild and free the sea was, and how the whole world was left to discover, awaiting him. 

That feeling however didn’t usually last too long, words kept coming to his mind, those words that managed to break his heart into two. 

_ “So if we kill all the enemies on the other side of this place…” _

Armin presses his eyes shut, not wanting to remember what had become of his best friend.

_ “Will we be free?” _

***

Their nights had always been restless. They had seen too much, lost too many, to be able to lay down and have a decent sleep just like that.

Tonight isn’t a exception. Armin hears the struggle and the battle Eren’s fighting during his sleep. A small smile tugs in the corner of Armin’s mouth, that was his Eren, always fighting. The sounds didn’t end quickly as they usually did and he couldn’t bring it to himself to let his friend suffer alone, if there was suffering he should be by his side. 

Armin gets up and walks to the quarters next to his, stepping close to his friend and looks into his eyes. He is careful to fight off the pain that flashes into him when he sees Eren. 

Eren’s eyes had always had a spark. A spark ready to burn down the world. Those sea colored eyes had always been fierced, strong. Now they are empty, a hollow reminder of the spirit they once carried. They should have expected it, death and pain had followed his friend for too long without giving him any chance to recover. Ashes to ashes, that pain could kill off any fire, including his friend’s. 

Knowing all of that didn’t help soothe the ache of Armin’s heart. That day at the beach, when their dream had finally come true, Eren hadn’t be able to feel the same happiness. His friend was too broken to dream and love like he had once done. How could Armin possibly help? He had stayed there, gripping the little silver shell in his hands, and all he could hear was the shattering of both his heart and Eren’s. 

Eren is hugging him now, clinging into him, short words leaving his lips without any real connection between them. Armin hugs back because he actually knows how to do that. Intimacy like this, at night and alone had always been a part of them, as it had been in the open during bright daylight as well. It’s easy and familiar, and it gives Armin the feel that everything is in place, that maybe they’d be alright. 

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, not that it matters. Slowly but sure, Eren pulls back and Armin finally sees  _ something _ in his gaze, it’s pain, it’s suffering but it’s something; not the hollowed look his eyes had held that day at the beach.

“Stay.” Eren asks close to him. 

Of course he does. This was natural too. Too many nights together, even before the attacks, the nightmares and the famish; there had been countless times where the two boys had fallen asleep between whispered laughs and thoughts. 

Eren holds him close and wakes up from time to time. Armin lets himself be hold and wipes out tears either with trembling fingers or caring lips. The blond boy wishes for a break, just a small one, a little moment so that they can regain… He isn’t sure what Eren needs. The truth is that Armin’s afraid his friend is lost, too lost to find his own way back to love and dreams; but Armin is determined, he will walk by his side and whatever happens he will be there to hold his hand.

After that night, so come many similar others. There’s no point in pretending to go to sleep to his own bed anymore and Armin just goes directly to Eren’s, to be held and be an anchor for his friend. 

It’s during one of those times that Eren speaks.

“Do you have a new dream?”

Armin wants to laugh. It’s such an innocent question that brings him back all the way to when they were children, not that they were too old now either.

“I’m not sure yet.”

Eren keeps silence during so long Armin thinks he’s fast asleep but he suddenly lets a soft humm and Armin racks his brain for something to say.

“There’s still the rivers of fiery water and so many other things out there.” He quickly says, not wanting the first heartfelt conversation they had in a long time to go away.

“How do you still have hope?” Eren’s voice is low and quiet, adorable in a way that makes Armin cuddle him closer.

“I don’t want to live for the sake of it, Eren, and I’m not sure I can, I care too much.”

He hears his friend shift behind him, breaking their intertwined arms. Armin rolls on his back and Eren props himself up on one elbow, staring down at his childhood friend with silent eyes… No, not empty all the way, there’s something, it must be… A little light, left between all the fog, a small ray of wonder. Armin holds onto that ray like a lifeline, it’s not lost, Eren isn’t completely lost.

“I don’t,” Eren starts, his tongue tangles itself between the words, “I can’t, my heart can’t do it anymore, Armin.”

Armin’s eyes widen in realization. It’s true that they were probably the closest people in each other lives, counting Mikasa in, like he always did, and that’s what made it so special. Eren didn’t open up like this, about this, not ever. But now he had. 

Armin holds up a hand, cupping Eren’s familiar cheek in it. How can he ask Eren to love again. How can he do it when he’s been beaten, when he’s lost, when he’s been betrayed; Eren Jaeger had been broken so many times, scars all over his fierce and strong soul.

But he can’t give up, not yet, not when that spark hasn’t burn everything down yet.

“How can I do it again, Armin?” 

His friend’s voice a hurting plea. 

“Eren,” Armin speaks with what he hopes is a confident voice, “no one knows how to love, ok? Everyone is afraid of messing up, of not being enough. But you, Eren, you’ve gone through too much to defend that, you’ve got to keep trying.”   
  
“But why?” His friend plops down on him, hiding himself on the crook of his neck, like a little kid afraid of imaginary monsters in the shadows.

Armin shrugs, “for a smile? A bird? A beach? It doesn’t matter, there isn’t a goal, Eren, love isn’t like that.”

“It’s sounds so difficult.”

The blond boy lets out a breathy laugh, “I bet you can manage after the Captain’s intense cleaning sessions.”

Eren actually laughs a little at that, sitting up a bit so he can better watch Armin’s face, “but seriously, what’s up with that guy he’s all,” Eren waves his hands around and clears his throat before attempting a pretty bad Levi impression, “hey, brats, clean the underside of the table or you’ll have to do it with no arms next time.”

Armin wholeheartedly laughs at the little furrow and the mumbling that escapes his friend’s mouth without him really noticing. Eren shoots him back an amused look and a crooked smile.

Oh, what wouldn’t he give to see his friend like this all the time. Relaxed, a smile plastered over his face. Living, not just surviving in a fight for their lives but actually being alive. 

“Armin,” Eren’s words bring him back to reality and he becomes painfully aware of how close they both are. 

Eren is hovering over him, the small ray of  _ something _ still in his eyes so Armin ignores the thunder of his heart against his own chest.

“Let me love you, Eren.”

It’s just a simple whisper in a quiet night, Armin reminds himself, it won’t break anything, it won’t matter, maybe Eren hasn’t even heard the rushed and petty confession. He wants to kick himself for letting something as dumb as his small, unrequited crush get into their moment.

Eren nods. Like he agrees. Like he actually wants Armin, has feelings for him, maybe not as intense and deep as the blond’s but something, anything. 

Armin isn’t sure he’s breathing when Eren leans down, pressing his soft lips to Armin’s mouth. It’s short and sweet, easy in a way that only souls who have already shared their lives together know how to do. 

His brain must have suffered a short-circuit after the little kiss because Armin actually reaches back for more, connecting their lips once again with a little more purpose now, as the delicious pressure of his friend’s body pins him to the bed.

When they come apart, Eren’s smiling and Armin is sure he has a lovesick expression on his face. Armin’s hand passes through Eren’s now slightly too long locks and he swears on all the walls ever built that the  _ something _ on Eren’s eyes is bigger, still too small and quiet but there.

A spark.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys !! i had to get this short sweet drabble out of my chest because i finished snk yesterday and !!!!! i love my soft babies they deserve all the happiness in the world
> 
> come check me out on [twiiter](https://twitter.com/sapphicxrey) !! i want more snk and eremin mutuals !


End file.
